CORGAN BEGS PEOPLE TO CARE ABOUT HIS TWITTER

"[CORGAN]'s really grasping at straws, trying to get into OK! Magazine and the tabloid circuit," a source told BLEEDINGTHECORGAN exclusively.

CORGAN offered anyone who looked at his Twitter on Tuesday a free t-shirt.

"What [CORGAN] doesn't know is that NOTHING could get the pop press to cover him. Even if he died, he wouldn't make the obituaries of any major publication --- they've chosen to snub him for the last decade and I don't think that's going to change because [BALDY]'s TWITTERING"

TAGS: TWITTER, BALDY, B.L.O.W.Z.

BILLY CORGAN UNVEILS NEW PROJECT: KILLER STD STRAIN

Ungrateful BILLY CORGAN showed off his thrilling new romance with THIEN THAHN THI NGUYEN at the "Bravo A-list Awards". What he concealed from the public was their new collaboration: a deadly new STD strain that could devastate the entire world to its core.

After porn star SASCHA GREY proved herself not toxic enough, human Petri dish Billy Corgan moved on to greener, and more Hazmat worthy pastures: Tila "THIEN THAHN THI NGUYEN" Tequila.

"It's his best work since Mellon Collie, this super-virus", says a source.

TAGS: ALOPECIA, SUPERSTRAIN, NOSFERATU, TREASURE TROLL, ASIAN TRANNY, CHLAMYDIA HELP, FAT BOWLEGS IN A BAD SUIT, LINDSAY LOHAN TANNING SYSTEMS TROUBLESHOOT, FUCKING TRASH, MYSPACE HOOKERS, WASHED UP MUSICIANS WITH BIRTHMARKS.

CITY OF BOSTON BLASTS CORGAN FOR LACK OF SEXINESS

"the snarl-toothed, lightbulb-headed corgan has always been one of rock music's uglier characters (which is quite an accomplishment - hats off). he's taken on a new sheen of unattractiveess now that he pouted through the roundly panned smashing pumpkins reuinion tour. don't quit your day job as lead jingle writer for the hyundai genesis."

in a shocking turn of events, someone at the boston phoenix actually thought BILLY CORGAN was relevant enough to include in a list of the 100 unsexiest men of the year 2009. bill arrived at no. 67 on the list, only a few slots above DICK CHENEY on the sex appeal scale.

well, i call bullshit and chalk it up to jealousy. what girl wouldn't want to hit this?:

CONFESSION #1: The Great Pumpkin That Ruined My Life

the names in these confessions have been changed.

when i saw this pile of (assumed) dog shit with a used condom on top, my first thought was that this was going to be a sign of things to come. this is one of the first things we encountered during our trip there for the residencies, and it pretty much sums up the entire experience: not only was there a vile piece of shit laying on the sidewalk, it was, to add insult to injury, topped with a used condom. whether it had been placed on top purposefully, or excreted out for whatever reason, will always remain a mystery. but the fact of it remained.

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while sitting on the concrete outside the orange peel with x, there was an encounter with a hobo. he walked down into the cesspool of waiting pumpkins fans begging for crack money. his incoherant ranmbling was a welcome distraction from the retard showboating on his motorized skateboard. as the weathered crackhead approached, i turned to x, knowing that we would engage him.

"DO Y'ALL HAVE A COUPLA DOLLAS?!" the crackhead enquired.

"no dude, we gave it all to billy corgan. we're fucking broke cuz of him. he's inside right there, waiting to rip us off."

"WHAT?!", the hobo raged. "HE'S ROBBIN' YOU? And you came back here AGAIN to let him RAPE YOU and ROB YOU!? WHY DO YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF! HE'S FUCKIN' RAPIN' YALL AND YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE A SHIT! WHO IS THIS YOU ALL IS TALKIN' ABOUT?"

"billy corgan."

"WELL YALL HAVE TO JUST GET OUT OF THAT SITUATION BECAUSE IT'S FUCKIN BULLSHIT HOW HE STOLE FROM YOU. AIN'T NO ONE GONNA STEAL SHIT FROM ME. AND YOU'RE GOING BACK FOR MORE."

the exchange grew louder, and i laughed as the fans surrounding us grew visibly agitated. i didn't give a shit, because that vagrant trying to score change for a crack rock made more sense than the imbecilic banter i heard coming from those dumb cocksuckers.

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there was a brief moment in asheville when i decided that the only way to make things OK would be to find billy and destroy him myself. x and z felt the same way. a demonic static energy filled the room as we laid on our plastic mattresses over vinyl

sheets. an evil was building between the three of us, and i had to get out. i left to go smoke in the front yard of the hostel. i realized i was chasing a ghost....one that would haunt me....FOREVER. i wanted blood.

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a fucking stupid pic from a mentally taxing show

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from the medicine cabinet of our bathroom at arthaus hostel

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